In Conversation: Sexual Empowerment Coach Katrina Marie of My Orgasmic Life
Katrina Marie is a sexual empowerment coach who helps women shed sexual shame and pleasure anxiety. Once a student of the late Betty Dodson, Katrina teaches BodySex as well as her own brand of courses such as Ecosexual and Boundary Bitch to help women build a foundational relationship with themselves.
How did you become interested in this career path?
In my early twenties I found myself in a relationship where the power dynamic was imbalanced and my sex drive non-existent. Thinking there was something wrong with me, I enrolled in one of Betty Dodson’s BodySex workshops (read: nude materbation) to try and work through my ‘issues’. I left that workshop with a clear understanding that it was my environment and relationship, not me, that was the problem. Today, it’s my mission to provide myself with an environment that I can be happy in, and I love doing the same for others.
What is ‘Orgasmic Living’ and how can I achieve it?
Orgasmic Living is about play. Getting connected to your desires, to your boundaries, and understanding what doesn't work for you. Most importantly, having the ability to articulate all of that to the outside world. When I see people cutting off their desires, I see it as the death of human vibrancy.
"Pleasure is not self-indulgent, it’s community care."
What’s the difference between trauma and grief?
Trauma is when your reaction has been halted in some way and it continues to battle inside of you. The good news is that there are ways to complete that emergency response through therapy. Humans are designed to withstand and recover from insane circumstances. Grief, on the other hand, is its own beast of an emotion. People commonly mistake grief as something that is meant to be healed or done with. Over time, grief can shrink so that you don't bump up against it as often, but it will always be there. It’s part of the human experience.
How do I know if I’ve experienced trauma?
If you're trying to figure out if you have trauma, look at the places where you feel incredibly activated and oddly childlike in your reaction. Sitting with a qualified therapist to share your experiences and have your pain be validated by someone who's studied this stuff is so important.
How did the pandemic affect your own self-love journey?
I had to learn how to get really clear with my needs because everyone is focused on their own shit right now. I started scheduling social things like you schedule doses of medicine.
Did the Bodysex feature on Goop’s Netflix series affect your business?
It provided more legitimacy and removed some of the shame so that people who may not have before now feel comfortable visiting my website. A lot of people associate looking at the website of a sex coach with having something wrong with themselves. For Bodysex to be on Netflix as entertainment, it makes it more approachable.
What are some of the most common questions you get asked?
At the very core of most of my clients' questions is, ‘Am I normal?’ and ‘Can it get better for me’? I think a lot of people feel like there's a ceiling to their sexual pleasure or their exploration and how they hit it, which is really interesting to me.
Describe your ideal self care Sunday.
A long walk, bare feet in the grass, pastries, weed, snuggling, good music and an orgasm - or two or three.
Any final words of wisdom for us?
If all women were connected to their desires, the world would be a completely different place. Because when women know what they want, and they know that they're worthy of what they want, they get after it. Women are incredibly powerful.
You can follow Katrina Marie on IG @myorgasmiclife
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